The loss of a gaming friend

[andyofne]

A dear friend of mine passed away today. His name was Allen Roberts aka =CBBF=Wingman.

At least one or two others here may have come to know =CBBF=Wingman through countless hours of BF2 and COD4 game play.

A couple years ago, I joined the CodeBlue Battlefield gaming group along with some other 'GMC' players, some former CBGB's and Tempus were also members.

After a time I was invited to be a recruiting admin for the group. They never liked calling it a clan.

Anyway, we recruited a guy playing by the name of "Wingman". He was soon added to the ranks. He was one of those guys who enjoyed the game the most when he was helping other people earn their promotions, medals and various badges in BF2. He was probably more excited about my earning general stars than I was myself.

But beyond being a team player he was also a good friend. He would listen well on Teamspeak and would remember personal things about people and would always be concerned for how things were going. In short, he was a good friend.

We spent hundreds of hours playing BF2. I mean day after day we would join up on the empty CBBF servers waiting for other players to join so we could get the servers going. He worked hard to make sure that everyone enjoyed the game. I know that he and I would often sacrifice our own personal goals to keep the teams even and to provide a more balanced gaming environment.

Sadly, a little over a year ago, I decided to leave =CBBF= for personal reasons. I felt burned out and wanted to just sit back and relax. My friends at =CBBF= felt betrayed, however, when I joined up with another less formal group of players. I never planned on joining any other group but I said "what the hell, why not."

I think Wingman took the "betrayal" the hardest since we had been such close friends. I always regretted that he felt that way. It was never an intentional slight against the group and especially not against Wingman.

After my departure Wingman was promoted to an admin position in CodeBlue and worked hard alongside the rest of the admins and kept things going.

Recently, I started hanging out with the =CBBF= group again on Teamspeak and playing COD4 with them almost nightly. Wingman and the rest of the group treated me with respect and kindness and our friendships began to mend.

Just a couple nights ago Allen and I had an opportunity to talk again like we used to when we were hanging out waiting for the rest of the folks to join Teamspeak. It was a real pleasure and I'm really glad that I had the opportunity to speak with him again as a friend.

I am somewhat comforted to have had a chance to mend fences with him.

I'll miss Allen very much. I count him among a small handful of 'internet' friend that I would have enjoyed meeting. I am very saddened that I never did get the chance to do so.

I know this is trite and silly but please take a few moments to think of a friend, either in real life or online, who you haven't talked to in a while or with whom you lasted parted on rocky terms. Send them an e-mail to say hello or give them a call.

Who the hell knows when next you'll speak.

Allen was just 39 and that's a damn sight too young for anyone to die.

farewell Wingman. It was a pleasure knowing you.

[Tempus]

I'm so sorry to hear that Andy. My prayers are with his family and the folks at =CBBF= .

[hoser]

Wow.

That's a damn shame.

[{2399}Straycat]

Nice writing, Andy.

[jackass]

Sorry to hear about the loss of a good friend Andy and at such an early age it just doesn't seem right that someone that age has to go but he is in a better place now. My condolences to his family and friends.

[Dawg]

I am sorry to hear of this loss. My wishes and prayers to his family.

[andyofne]

Originally Posted by Dawg

I am sorry to hear of this loss. My wishes and prayers to his family.

My friend Allen was just 38. He was not married and had no kids.

His parents are dead. His brother is dead as is his sister.

He had no family living anywhere near him and it took the 'authorities' a few days to find a next of kin.

I know, like me, Allen spent a good part of his free time on the computer gaming with his friends but he also had a tight nit circle of real life friends with whom he gamed with at LAN parties and went to the shooting range.

It's terribly sad to think of how lonely he was for lack of family. He never really shared much about his family or lack thereof, though we did speak about his deceased mother a few times. I never realized just how alone he was.

His obituary read:

Allen Roberts, 38, passed away Friday, March 7, 2008, in a local hospital.

Allen was predeceased in death by his parents, William and Barbara Roberts. He was an employee of the Chattanooga Aquarium.

Allen is survived by an aunt, Mrs. Louise Bain, in Oxford, Ala.; and an uncle, Joseph Pointer.

[Tempus]

I thank God for my family every day. I don't think that I've missed a day since... I can't remember when. it's sad to hear of some one who has no one, but the virtual world can be a comfort sometimes. It's not a real substitute but it can pass in a pinch.

[Lotharr]

I know this is a Johnny-Come-Lately response to this, but I am very sorry to hear about this Andy. It is sad to hear about someone passing on so young.

I'm sure most of you have heard about Randy Pausch, a Carnegie Mellon University professor who was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer last year. There was a Diane Sawyer special with him on television this week, in fact. Randy participated in an annual event at CMU called "The Last Lecture," which is traditionally an academic exercise for a faculty member; "If you had only one lecture to give to your students - what would you tell them?" In Randy's case, it was literally going to be his last lecture... and what he had to say really makes one put things into perspective.

I posted it on my site if anyone wants to watch it... it's well worth the hour it takes to view it. (It's on YouTube if you want to see it there).

I actually have a mantra I took from this: "Be a Tigger - not an Eeyore." For me - that's really hard to do, but I just think about Randy and it's a real motivator.

Sorry again Andy - I pray Allen will be at peace.

[andyofne]

I randomly thought about Allen last night. Can't believe it's been so long.